The Time It Takes
Being stretched thin makes everything harder. Acknowledging how long things really take can help.
Recently, an art student asked me:
Do you ever feel like you’re stretched too thin? How do you handle it?
Feeling a bit overcommitted, I’m still thinking about this, so I’ll share my response and a bit more.
Yes, I’ve been stretched thin. There have been times when I was stretched across too many different tasks I didn’t want to do or couldn’t do well. That felt like burnout. There have also been times when I committed to too many wonderful things and was so busy that I couldn’t enjoy them or be fully present for them in the way I wanted to be. That felt stressful and disappointing, like I’d wasted a good thing.
Being stretched makes everything harder than it needs to be. When you’re stretched thin, things get squashed into the smallest-possible pockets of time. If you’re moving frequently between different types of activities, you might lose time and energy to all that context-switching. But things need space and time. People and ideas need space and time. (Like a good cheese, yeah?) People need sleep and rest, and time to move around aimlessly — both physically and mentally — while thoughts, feelings, and ideas take shape.
What to do? We can’t yet expand time (and no, stealing time from sleep and rest doesn’t count, ahem ahem #Reality #ButSelfCare). So the only healthy option I see is to acknowledge to ourselves how much time and energy each thing will really require, and then ruthlessly say no to stuff until the things we decide to do can fit into our box of available time.
How much time things require =
+ the time it takes to do the thing
+ prep time for the thing (logistical & emotional)
+ follow-up time for the thing
+ any recovery time / rest / zoning out the thing generates
+ etc
Here’s a concrete example. I currently meet with a volunteer team for 2 hours each Tuesday night. After we wrap up, I typically spend another 30 minutes tying up loose ends for the things we worked on, and organizing our priorities for the next meetup. This meetup is on my calendar for 2 hours, but it is not actually a 2-hour meeting. It’s a 2-hour-and-30-minute meeting.
Every week, I’m surprised at how late it is when I close my laptop. I still need time to unwind my brain from thinking mode, and again I’m surprised when I go to sleep later than I expected. It’s like I’m not even acknowledging the additional time I’m investing in this meeting, even though it happens every week. The follow-up work is relaxing and fun for me, but because of how it impacts my schedule, not planning for it often takes a toll later on.
Assuming the follow-up tasks do need to get done, I should really add them to the calendar too. I have options:
1. set aside time immediately after the meeting
2. set aside time the next day
3. carve time out of the original meeting: wrap up tasks within the originally scheduled meeting time
For me, it’s easiest to tie up loose ends when everything is still fresh in my mind. And, with an early start the next day, I do need to keep this work from going too late. The nature of the meetup is such that I could be doing the followup towards the end of our time together. So, option 3 is probably the best bet for me.
Either way, being honest with myself about actual time required, and acknowledging my efforts and energy, helps make things like prep time and rest time real and measurable for me. And that helps me schedule my time more realistically, which then allows me to show up for myself and others more fully and happily.
[This PSA has been brought to you by someone (me) who is very late to the party in time management, and needed to be asked this question so that she could have a more restful day.]
